Lighten up!

Here we place anecdotes from our day-to-day interaction with patients that help keep the atmosphere at the office light and humorous. This section of our website is not intended to offend any viewers or patients, but we find that a sense of humor can be valuable in getting through some of the difficult situations we face on a daily basis. We added this section to our Website with the highest level of respect for ourselves and our patients, and hope you will take it at face value.

If you have any additions, please let us know!

Who Stocks Foreplay?

During an appointment, Dr. Sweet was explaining to a couple that it would be best if they did not use lubricants during intercourse since they contain a level of spermicide. The husband then asked, “What can we use instead?” Dr. Sweet responded with “prolonged foreplay”. The husband then asked, quite innocently, if he could find that at the pharmacy. Trying not to break a smile, Dr. Sweet calmly responded, “Yes, but you will have to go in between the aisles where no one can see you.”

Slip of the Tongue

Dr. Sweet was applying a paracervical anesthetic block prior to a minor office surgical procedure when he made a humorous slip of the tongue. The anesthetic block requires two injections near the cervix, and told his patient she may “…feel a little prick” during the injection. The patient started laughing when Dr. Sweet realized what he had said.

Pseudonyms of the Office

The “masturbatorium” room is where specimen samples are taken from our male patients, and has had varying nicknames over the years.

1991 was a busy year, we were have construction completed on our office building, and Pee Wee Herman was arrested for masturbating in a pornographic movie theater in Sarasota. Consequently, the construction crew dubbed our masturbatorium room as “Pee Wee’s Playhouse”.

Incidentally, in 1999 Dr. Sweet renamed the masturbatorium the “Oval Office”, in honor of President Bill Clinton.

Always Plan for the Unexpected

During the early stages of our practice, we routinely collected semen specimens from each of our male patients for cryopreservation for possible use during IVF procedures, should the husband be unavailable or unable to contribute a specimen upon demand.

On the day of egg retrieval, we place the husband in the “room” for collection. More than thirty minutes later he was still unable to provide a specimen sample, but would attempt from home.

On his way back to the office with his specimen sample, his car got a flat tire on the Cape Coral Bridge. Panicked regarding the lifespan of the sample, he decided to leave his car and walk to the office. It was a warm day indeed! During the jog to the office, the top of the specimen container came off an the ejaculate leaked into his bag. The heat of the Florida sun quickly cooked the sperm through the plastic bag.

He arrived at the office perspiring and completely exhausted, both mentally and physically. Upon examination, all of the sperm were dead. Fortunately, he had cryopreserved some sperm which we thawed and used to fertilize the patients eggs.

This lovely couple now has twins! To this day, we use this story in discussing the merits of having a cryopreserved semen specimen as a back-up, should unexpected events occur.

Keep Track of Your Specimens
A new male patient was scheduled to bring in a semen specimen he collected at home to the office. When he arrived for his appointment, he told the receptionists that plans had changed and he would have to provide his specimen on-site. He went on to explain that his daughter had apparently found the empty specimen container and had taken it to store her pennies.